The Season of Love, Loss, and Everything In Between

Hey Beautiful Souls,

As December settles in, I can feel that mix of excitement and emotion moving through the air. It’s the season of lights, laughter, and giving - but also the season where our hearts remember the people we wish were still here to share it with us. The holidays can be magic, but they can also be messy. And that’s okay.  

December comes wrapped in twinkling lights and memories that hit a little differently when you’ve loved and lost. The holidays are supposed to feel magical, aren’t they? Yet for so many of us, that “magic” can feel tangled up with emotions that don’t fit neatly under the tree. One moment, we’re laughing, feeling the warmth of giving and receiving, and the next, our hearts ache for the people who aren’t here to share it. It’s messy, it’s beautiful, and it’s real.  And honestly I am still learning how to cope with it all sigh.

This time of year has always carried a certain buzz for me.  Christmas is  (or was - will be???) my jam!  I love, love everything about it.  Family, friends, giving, receiving!  All the things!  Food! Lights! The energy feels chaotic and electric all at once. Everywhere you look, people are decorating, shopping, gathering - but beneath that excitement, there’s also a quiet hum of longing. Whether it’s missing someone who’s passed, feeling disconnected, or just navigating the heaviness that creeps in with the dark nights, we have to remind ourselves that it’s okay to feel it all. There’s no rule that says you have to be merry every second of December.

For me, the holidays have never been the same since losing Ryan. The sparkle that used to come so naturally dimmed, and even something as simple as decorating became hard. Every ornament, every light strand carries a memory. But this year, I’ve decided to make a little more effort/ Not to erase the grief, but to welcome both it and the love that still lives within it. I’m creating new traditions while holding space for the old ones. Ryan might not be here in the physical, but he’s woven into every moment, every flicker of light, every quiet memory that still makes me smile through the tears.  Even writing this about Ry makes the tears well up.

If you’re struggling this season, know this: your sadness doesn’t make you ungrateful, and your tears don’t cancel out your joy. You can miss them and still find beauty in the lights. You can grieve and still laugh with friends. You can be tired and still find comfort in connection. The holidays aren’t about perfection or pretending to be okay even though the facade might seem real.  They’re about showing up with love, however that looks for you.

So whether you go all out with decorations, or your version of celebration is sitting quietly with a cup of tea and a few candles burning, it’s enough. Christmas isn’t about the noise or the glitter; it’s about love. It’s about remembering, reconnecting, and letting your heart soften, even if it’s just a little. This year, I’m choosing to let that love guide me - to make space for joy, grief, and everything in between.  This will also be my first year without my mom.  And that will also add to the emotional baggage, but I am choosing to embrace the sadness and remember with love.

However you spend your holidays this year, may you be surrounded by gentle reminders that love never leaves. It just changes form. So give yourself grace, honor your heart, and let this December be one of tenderness, truth, and quiet joy.  

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas!