Do NOT Take Anything For Granted.

This is a blog that will be short and to the point.  Some of you may not be aware but on June 29th our family lost one of the most precious gifts that we have ever received.  Our son Ryan was taken away from us so suddenly and has left an emptiness that I cannot put into words.  Tears yes, words no.  Ryan was so much to so many and the grief that his family, Noella, friends, teammates and co-workers are feeling is real. So very real.

 

I don't have a lot to offer at this time.  I don't feel inspirational, motivational.  Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am.  I don't feel strong.  I feel depleted, sad and so much anger at those that did this. Forgiveness is not on the table right now and although it may be in the future, I am allowing my humanness to process losing Ryan because I know my Spirit Self is already connected with him.  Ry shows me the best signs.  The signs that are his and his only.  And I am blessed that although I am still sitting in utter despair and sadness, my Spirit self is able to see these and acknowledge them.   

 

We talk about lessons - everything is a lesson.  I can't see the lesson in this.  Not one single bit, but that doesn't mean I won't.  It's just not right now.  

 

My family and Noella are surrounded by a network of beautiful people that are holding space for us and we feel it and acknowledge it and are grateful for it.  We cannot thank you enough for all  you are doing, the thoughts, the words, the actions.  

 

Today take the time to tell those around you that you care.  That you love them. 

Take the time to reach out to people that maybe you've lost contact with but have been thinking about reconnecting too and just haven't found the time.  Forgive what is forgivable (remembering that doesn't mean you condone what was done) and most importantly love yourself.  Give yourself grace.  Work through the hard stuff with a sense of knowing it's all with a purpose.  You don't have to understand the purpose right now.

 

I will never be the same.  I accept this.  I know that Spirit never lets me down. 

Spirit didn't do this.  Ryan is now with Spirit, therefore he continues to be with us. 

With me.

Now go hug someone.