This is the time of year when I am usually in full swing with the holiday spirit!
Christmas is by far my favorite holiday of the year. I love the whole ambiance of the festive lights, the gift giving and receiving, the food, the gatherings! This is where I usually find myself plotting and planning the presents that I give, the parties that I throw!
But this year is so very different.
There is no excitement.
And the only planning I am currently doing is just how I, Mike, Alanna and those closest to Ryan will get through the holidays. There is a heavy lump in the pit of my stomach as I think about what Christmas Eve and Morning will look like. How do I get up and walk the dogs and not look forward to the stockings being opened when eventually Ryan, Alanna and Noella would get up?
There won't be any stockings this year. I simply can't. I will have things for Alanna and...